Transgender Day of Remembrance

This week on OurLifeAsTrans, we are discussing TDOR.
In my video, I talk about all the reasons I do not like remembrance days. Even when I was little, when it came to the 11th of November and we were asked to sit in silence for two minutes and remember those who had lost their lives in the World Wars my country had been a part of, I did not like it.

This was not because I was a heartless, ignorant human who did not appreciate the lives of men who died serving my country in years past, it was simply because I did not understand why we set aside just one day out of three hundred and sixty five to remember a particular set of people, when I thought - and still do think to this day - that a decent human being would spend a lot more time thinking than that.

Now, this is not to say that I sit down and think about all the trans* people who have been killed on account of them being trans* every single day of the year, but I know for a fact that I think about it than just the one.

That being said, I do think that having a TDOR is a good thing, even if I do sustain the idea that we should be thinking about our lost brothers and sisters and siblings of every gender identity more than just the 20th of November.

People need to be reminded of things, I know how much that sucks, but they do. Let's be honest, we all have lives. We have deadlines, assignments, doctors appointments, books due back in the library, that take-away we're going to get on Friday, dates, cinema trips, that Xbox game we want, the album we need to listen to, the book we want to read.
We all have things we are thinking about every single day. I think at any one time I am probably thinking about at least five things I should be doing but am not because I'm doing ten other things instead.

Take right now for example, I:

• am writing this post
• am writing another post for another magazine 
• am planning an article for another magazine
• am trying to keep up with a group conversation for my flat
• am uploading a vlog to YouTube
• have an essay due in next Monday
• have a peer review I need to do before Thursday.

We are all busy, and if we're not, then we're doing something wrong.

So to put aside one day a year to think about something really important can be beneficial to us as an incredibly busy society.

Just making this blog post has made me think about the trans* people this world has lost due to hatred more than I would have done without it. Being on Facebook and seeing people post about it has ignited discussions worldwide about things many people wouldn't usually think about.

The question is though, how do we make it more widely discussed. I honestly think 99% of my cisgendered friends wouldn't have a clue there even was a TDOR, let alone be able to tell me when it is. So how do we do it?

Social networking sites are probably our best bet, but then do we take away the genuine feelings we have?

Being invited to events doesn't mean anything anymore; FarmVille ruined that for me.

Hashtags? Probably would have an impact too, but not when they're next to #WeLoveYouHarry

I still think the best way of spreading love is to open our mouths. Open our mouths the the people directly around us. Make people listen with compassion.

So what I ask of you is this: don't just think about Trans* people who have lost their lives tomorrow, on November 20th, try and think about our lost ones more than just that.

And don't just think about lost trans* folk. Think about all folk we have lost due to hate crimes, suicide, murder.

Think, and don't stop.

Because if you do stop thinking, the what on earth are you doing?

Love,
Benjamin x