Be Friends With Good People

One of my best friends is a script-writer.
 

The other one writes mainly prose.

One of my best friends is studying for a BSc degree.

The other one is an English student.

One of my best friends can speak French.

The other one is really good with a map.

The both of them went to a school I did not go to.

They both have lots of mutual friends whom I do not know.

They prefer hot-chocolates over my boring filter coffees.

They are both women.

They are massive Christmas enthusiasts while I simply enjoy the holiday season.

We are all fans of John Green.

We all enjoy a cuddle.

We all are feminists.

And, finally, regardless of drink choice, we all enjoy a good coffee date.

There are many reasons why people are friends. The best friendships I have had in my life are based on lots of similarities, and lots of differences. My point is, though, that none of these similarities have anything to do with gender identity or, for that matter, sexuality.

Now I know how much it can help to socialise with people who go through similar experiences to yourself – of course it can, that is why support groups are there – and through these groups you can meet some of your best friends. For instance, one of my very good friends James is a trans* guy. I like him a lot.

But I didn't meet him through a support group... never mind, my point still stands.

This is not an attack on support groups, not at all. It is just a question of importance. Is it more important that your best friend is someone of a similar gender identity or sexuality to you, or that you can talk about almost everything with?

Let's just get this straight; I do talk about my gender to my besties. They know all anyone could ever know about me. But what I am trying to say is that it is not all we talk about.

We also talk about what we are working on at the moment (Hannah and I are co-founders of the group S.W.A.G., check out her post), books we like, films we enjoy (check out Beth's post about Mary Poppins), TV shows we watch (myself and Beth are huge Miranda enthusiasts), inside jokes from stupid things we've said, alcohol...

Basically this is just another post where Benjamin witters on about his friends because he isn't going to see them in quite a while (less than a week Ben calm down) and something got wrapped around his head after a conversation with one of said best friends (the script-writer, not the English student) about people who force friendships on themselves.

To all the trans* people out there, I know this might be a hard thing to get your head around (I know it was for me to start with) but you do not have to be friends with every trans* person you meet. You really don't. You can genuinely dislike someone and not want to socialise with them even if they are trans*. Of course, in no way am I saying that you should cut people out of your life for no reason (don't do that, it's mean) but if you don't feel comfortable talking to some trans* people for whatever reason you would feel uncomfortable about cis people, then that is totally fine.

Keep on being you and be friends with people you make you happy.

My best friends are cis gendered straight women, and I am a trans* male.

We are all OK.

Love,
Benjamin x